I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
