either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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