Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
