i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
