Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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