i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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