i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
