I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
