I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We have so much sex to catch up on
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
