The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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