I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize