He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
