Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
