The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize