i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
