I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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