cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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