I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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