i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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