That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
