if you like me you must not know who I am
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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