It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
