Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
