Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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