you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
