you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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