I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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