we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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