And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
