What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize