.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we're so committed to being not committed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
