Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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