Say something about gay babies.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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