wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
