Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
