Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
