i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
