I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
