Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
