I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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