I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
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I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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