just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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