His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
