There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
