ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
