Moan for me like Helen Keller
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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