Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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