i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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