I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
