hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
