My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize