i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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