Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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