I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
