I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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