Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Bring me that man meat
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
