I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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