you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
