Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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