This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cut my penus on the lid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
